xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

(via dehaansome)

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

thegreensanitarium:

riverdogproductions:

newworldorganization:

drifterscave:

doitsundere:

anal0g2:

asvpyeezy:

kanye sleeping.

shhhh

Kanye Rest

in his Kanye Nest

when he wakes up he’s going to be his kanye best

This is the tale of Kanye West, who is snuggled in his Kanye Nest, having himself a Kanye Rest, for he must be at his Kanye Best, before he’s off on a Kanye Quest, where he’ll be put to the Kanye Test, in hopes to retrieve the Kanye Chest that is distinctly marked with the Kanye Crest, He shall return to the Kanye Nest and have himself a Kanye Fest, where he will welcome many Kanye Guests, but first he must be rid of Kanye Pests, before he can put on his Kanye Vest and dance at the party with such Kanye Zest.

did you just

this sounds like the intro theme song to a children’s show about kanye west going on adventures and respecting the sanctity of nap time

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

thegreensanitarium:

riverdogproductions:

newworldorganization:

drifterscave:

doitsundere:

anal0g2:

asvpyeezy:

kanye sleeping.

shhhh

Kanye Rest

in his Kanye Nest

when he wakes up he’s going to be his kanye best

This is the tale of Kanye West, who is snuggled in his Kanye Nest, having himself a Kanye Rest, for he must be at his Kanye Best, before he’s off on a Kanye Quest, where he’ll be put to the Kanye Test, in hopes to retrieve the Kanye Chest that is distinctly marked with the Kanye Crest, He shall return to the Kanye Nest and have himself a Kanye Fest, where he will welcome many Kanye Guests, but first he must be rid of Kanye Pests, before he can put on his Kanye Vest and dance at the party with such Kanye Zest.

did you just

this sounds like the intro theme song to a children’s show about kanye west going on adventures and respecting the sanctity of nap time

(via samapitongzabala)

glowcloud:

i love the Women Against Feminism that are like “I dont need feminism because i can admit i need my husband to open a jar for me and thats ok!” cause listen 1. get a towel 2. get the towel damp 3. put it on the lid and twist. BAM now men are completely useless. you, too, can open a jar. time to get a divorce

(via johnathanocallaghan)

bifanoland:

Was digging through my old work folder and came across these roughs from last summer. They were originally going to be shown at a theme-park gallery run by a company that rhymes with “Bisney”. Needless to say, there was some weirdness with contract stuff and the project fell through. Thought it would be fun to share these anyhow!

(via kissedawake)